I don't know how long this feeling will last but missing India is like missing a best friend. The beautiful chaos and the sense of purpose I had there can never compare to being back in Singapore. I keep having flashes of the kids' faces and the people I met along the way and I wonder how long it will take for me to let go. It hurts so bad to leave and thinking of the possibility that I'm never going to see them again makes me want to cry. Even as I type I'm looking at the friendship band Shahalam gave me with the promise that I will try to return to Apna Ghar and see him again but that's heartbreaking because I don't ever know when that will be.
What I really wish is to be able to visit Apna Ghar every single week and watch each and every one of them grow up because they made it impossible not to fall in love with them. I sense word vomit entry soon (i need to find a way to get this out of my system) but for now I'll keep replaying the videos I have of them and of India over and over again until I can pretend I'm back there, where amidst chaos and lack of system, things made much more sense then civilised ol' Singapore.
Apna Ghar= My Home